I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
