p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
she pinky promised me she was 18
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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