Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
