just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
