is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
