I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
