Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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