is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
