Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
