Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
