Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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