I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
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My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
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you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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