What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I think my moral compass just broke
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
