You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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