when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
