I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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