Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
