scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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