wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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