i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
