The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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