Its about making memories worth repressing
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
