I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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