after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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