I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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