So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
