508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
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he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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