i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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