My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
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im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
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Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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