come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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