you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
