dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
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