my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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