she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
