My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
