M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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