I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
