I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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