i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
