By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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