Walk of Shame. In a state park.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
