Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
