We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
its not stalking. its research.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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