An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
