Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize