and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
