if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
It's just like the Real World with babies
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
