Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
