Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
