i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
