dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
