Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
