its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize