When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
