You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
