This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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