My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize