I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
