1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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