He had one of those small greek statue penises
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
