Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I have tasted many bathrooms
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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