Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
