God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
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