would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
