his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
